Exclusive Chapped Lips and Chiclets Interview with Nate Dube: The Man Behind Barney Joneser
Where did the name Barney Joneser come from?
The name Barney Joneser is a term used by many locals from Hawaii, and surrounding areas, to describe douche baggy or toolish people. People also use different variations of this. For example, I have heard these douche baggy kids referred to as Barneys, Jonesers, and even Barnibe Jonesers. I discovered the term when I lived in Hawaii. My roommate and I stumbled upon a gaggle of douches from SoCal who called themselves the riders. They hardly ever wore shirts, and on the rare occasion that they did, they always had their collars popped to the sky. The Riders would come to parties and proclaim loudly “Riders ready to roll!” or “Yo, Riders, let’s roll out.” These faggy fuck bags were a mutt-like mix of the ultimate frat boy crossbred with a spoiled rich kid’s version of a surfer punk. It was this group that became my inspiration. Later that day I used my roommate’s computer to make the techno super-hit “The Legend of Barnibe Joneser.” Since then, I have sworn to ironically teach the world about this breed that is more closely related to fecal matter than to any kind of human being.
Barney Joneser is sometimes called your “gay” alter-ego. Can you elaborate?
Well, Barney is sometimes called my “gay” alter-ego not because he is actually gay, but more so because he is gay in the sense of “douche baggyness.” Barney has been known to make strangely violent homosexual references, like in the Schizophrenic Freestyle Battle against Devious One and friends, but these references are also coupled with strong anti-gay and even homophobic remarks. To tell you the truth, I don’t even know which side of the plate Barney swings from; only he does. He is violent and unpredictable, and it is more likely that he will beat and rape the umpire in front of a hometown crowd rather than step up to the plate and swing away from any particular position.
What’s up with the Ultimate BJ EP? Is it still available?
The Ultimate BJ EP was Barney’s first attempt at an organized record. Less than 50 copies were manufactured, and only Barney’s earliest and most loyal fans and followers obtained a copy. I would love to be able to tell you that more copies are available, but the trash bag that Barney carries them in was left at a previous show in one of his drunken stupors, and he thinks that someone probably stole the garbage bag and is going to make millions off the EPs on eBay. I, as a matter of fact, know that nobody touched the CDs and Mr. Collin Babb found them the very next day. You can contact him via facebook if you are still looking for an EP, but don’t tell Barney. He is very sensitive about these types of issues. Pondo Bash 2008 was your first real performance? Do you think it went well?
Ah yes, Pondo Bash. I was unable to attend the performance because Barney was there, but I hear from most of the fans that it was amazing. Most have admitted that there has not been a show since that has captured the essence of Barney quite like the Pondo did. Barney actually can’t remember much of the show, but he said that from what he did remember, the crowd was nothing but a bunch of mindless ugly fuck heads who don’t deserve to steal all of his oxygen, and that they should have all killed themselves after his show. Personally, I think Mr. Joneser is being a bit harsh.
Where do you see Barney Joneser a year from now?
Wow. A whole year from now? I guess I see Barney Joneser dead in a year as the most likely outcome. Now, whether that be from an irate fan or from the U.S. Government in accordance with the death penalty he will probably receive for the sheer vulgarity of his music, I don’t know. I guess he could be famous and on his way to brainwashing millions of people into actually liking what he calls ‘music,’ but I think that it is much more likely that he is residing in Hell at that point in time.
Is there anything that you would like to tell your fans?
I would like to tell the fans to not take Barney too seriously, and to keep supporting local music in any way possible. However, Barney wanted me to let the fans know that if they do not like his ‘music,’ then they should drill a hole into the monitor of their computer, fill the hole with napalm, and then press the power button. Now kids, make sure you set up a video camera so that your parents can see the flesh melt off of your skull. A closed casket and a closed interview.
It’s Britney Bitch! Yep, she’s back with a new video and this one is HOT. Unfortunately, she isn’t as thick as she was in MTV’s Video Music Awards last year. You win some and you lose some, right? You might need a youtube account to verify your age for this puppy as Brit is rolling around naked like a worm on a driveway after a rainy day for a pretty good portion of the video.